I received a phone call this morning. One that left me speechless whilst at work and made me shake!!
Our egg donation co ordinator at our IVF clinic has found a donor match. an. actual. match. She’s my height, has my colour eyes, my complexion. The only ‘worry’ I have (and I call this worry because I know it isn’t a big issue at all) is that she has blonde hair & I have brown. I have never come across a woman with blonde hair and brown eyes!? But i’m not arguing. She also has a positive blood type while i’m O Neg.
I’m going to sound REALLY selfish here. And I never thought i’d have these thoughts going through my head, I thoguht as soon as a ptential match came through we’d be like YES, LETS GO. NOW. But, I’m actually worried about her hair colour. Both myself and OH have dark brown hair and if she has blonde…. ok it’s silly. She’s also very tiny, like BMI 18.8 or something tiny. I’m actually overweight at 12stone. I don’t look it, but i’m kind of secretly (or not so secretly now!) glad she’s smaller than me. I don’t know why, I just am.
All these ‘what ifs’ are racing round my head. ‘what if we waited and a perfect match comes along?’ ‘what if we neclined and we find a good match but we aren’t the 1st recipient couple?’ ‘what if baby really does have blonde hair…..that’d be pretty rare if we conceived normally’ ‘what if we necline and don’t get another potential match for a year’ or even ‘what if the donor is really goofy and looks horrendous and our baby picks up none of OHs looks’ IM DRIVING MYSELF CRAZY. I feel so selfish, and I really am not. I have never had these thoughts before and always thought that as soon as a match comes along that i’d be happy no matter what, to just feel the love of a child would make me happy. The more I think the more my heart & brain say to go for it, but those what if’s are always at the back of my mind.
I think it’s a yes to go ahead. We have the weekend to think it over. My mum’s said go for it, my OH is keen to go ahead. I just can’t get passed my silly ‘what ifs’!!!!
I know I am extremely lucky for this to come so soon. We saw our consultant Nov/Dec and 3/4 months waiting and our first match has been selected. Some couple wait so so much longer than us. I’m off to play Theme Hospital and think! 🙂 xx
Along Came a Baby 
So pleased you found a match! I really wouldn’t worry about the match part too much – lots of parents who are blonde don’t end up having blonde children and vice versa. My best mate has blonde hair and brown eyes and is a stunner! Also my mum’s mum and dad both had brown eyes, and so does her sister, but mum’s eyes are bright blue! It really is pretty random 🙂 x
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Aaaww thank you for the reassurance 🙂 The more I think about it the more i’m sat here thinking, well it isn’t a major issue, and if she has brown eyes, theres 2 things thatll happen, either the child has brown eyes and maybe blonde hair in which case thats probably going to be so pretty! Or, they’ll have brown hair brown eyes. Either way it’s a win really. Genetics are so random aren’t they, you can never be certain of anything! x
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Hey I’m a blonde with brown eyes! Its the best combination if you ask me 😉
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Haha and you’re so pretty too! Thanks for the comment, I’m phoning our clinic to say ‘we’d like to go ahead’ tomorrow 🙂 I hope you’re feeling better after your blog post the other day, I don’t know the RPL struggle but going through what I have for 6 years I feel a glimmer of what it could feel like. Hope this year picks up big time for you, reading through your blog you really do deserve it x
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Thank you. Struggling with TTC, no matter what form it takes, is draining. My battle has only been about 18 months so far so I am in awe of you for dealing with this for 6 years. Best of luck for your next step!!
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Aaww it is so draining both emotionally & physically, you’re right. Thank you for the wishes, i’m praying that you are not kept in this struggle for much longer, it has to be your time soon x
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