I’m only human!

I had my last lining scan today, and it’s fine (phew!). But walking back I had time to really be alone and think of everything going on right now. This past year I’ve bought my own home with Jon, had serious conversations about children, starting renovating our house & also talking about getting married. I feel some guilt towards my mum, I’ve done nothing bad but she’s such an angel & I feel like sometimes I don’t make her feel like I think that of her, and don’t make her realise just how much I appreciate her. I don’t enjoy my job right now, I’ll leave that subject as this is public but all of these things, although mostly positive really do take it out of you. I’ve been getting so stressed rushing around and remembering to do things that I genuinely don’t take care of me! I haven’t bought new clothes for YEARS I live in about 4 tops (which I also wear at work) and 2 dresses with 2 pairs of leggings. Why though? Why don’t I allow myself time to relax and treat myself sometimes? Guilt. Feeling selfish. So from now on I’m trying my best to slow.down. For the sake of our IVF/ISCI and for the sake of me & Jon I need to take the time to appreciate the little things that I have ignored for such a long time & to start to live rather than just exist! 

Transfer is scheduled for Sunday…. I am so nervous!! This.Is.Happening!!!

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