The IVF drugs are here

So…..IVF medications….. Yep, they’ve arrived. There aren’t as many as I suspect anyone going through regular IVF as opposed to donor egg IVF would have, but it’s quite a lot!
Everything was all fine until I spotted the needles. I have a slight needle phobia. Okay not a needle phobia, or is it? I don’t know. I’m afraid of there being pain, not the needle itself just the pain, which I guess everyone is to an extent.

 
Although I am very nervous about having to stick those things anywhere near my stomach (which is literally full of stretchmarks btw, so i’m going to have to hunt really hard to find a normal bit of skin to use!), the nervousness isn’t even near matching the excitement and the ‘it’s finally becoming real’ feelings I have right now. I’m definitely still having the, is this the right time, should I be happy, will things work out and it all be successful, should I tell the boss kind of feelings but i’m sure it’s all because it is suddenly happening when I thought it never would. I took a little pic 🙂

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I heard on the news that there has been a woman who has managed to have a baby through some ovarian tissue that was taken before her chemotherapy when she was 13. That is amazing, isn’t it? She was the same age as me when I got diagnosed with my cancer, and whether or not this is true, my consultant told my parents quite bluntly that my chemotherapy wouldn’t affect my fertility and that there were no options for me to preserve my fertility anyway. I’m guessing there probably was even if we had to pay for it, but still. If I had the same opportunity, I wouldn’t be requiring donor egg treatment now. I wouldn’t be worrying if i’m going to bond with my child properly, or if they will look like me/OH or if people will guess she isn’t biologically mine. I wouldn’t have had the heartbreak of going through the menopause at 15 and being told there was no way I could have children, to then be told I could and everything was fine again, then 4 years later be told i’m approaching menopause and I couldn’t have children again! Although donor egg treatment is the best thing to come out of an awful situation, as it means I can carry a child as any other mother would and love a child as I have always wanted, it is still so heartbreaking with every pregnancy or birth announcement and every ‘aawww your other half would make a brilliant father’, and if this is as good of a breakthrough as it looks, there will be so many women spared the feelings I have been through in the future and that is just amazing. I wish that woman & her family so much happiness because i’m sure the worry and apprehension she must have felt beforehand would have been unreal. I’m glad she had the best outcome ever!

So…. nurse appointment next week to attempt to get my head around stick those pointy things near my belly and then here’s to hopefully an amazing 2 months ahead!

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